It took me the longest time to understand the purpose of discovering my spiritual gifts. I am shaman. This is not something I do, this is something I am. By this, I mean that this is not a vocation, a separate activity. I don’t do rituals either. It is not even a way of life: I did not change my eating habits and I do not meditate. Not really. I’ll explain that in details later. Shaman is first and foremost a frequency, it is a vibration that translates in the ability to perceive and interact with two worlds.
But even that is a misperception. There is only one world, a physical world with a large range of vibrations, and most humans have a more limited perception of it. A concrete example is the fact that some humans can hear infrared sounds, while others can’t.
So being shaman simply means that I have a finer perception, which in turn enables me to also have an extended grasp of reality. At first, I was opposing the invisible world (or spiritual) to the physical one, but now it is quite clear one is the continuum of the other. And to help you understand better, let me use the example of the digital picture: with an adequate editing software, we can easily make the picture more transparent, darker or brighter, extend the palette of colors available. Not everybody’s eyes have the same quality, and so some can see 90% transparent images, some can only stretch up to 80%. Some people can see stronger gradations of blue colors, others hardly see any difference between ceruleum and light cobalt.
So now I busted one myth: being shaman is not a superpower, it is only about having a finer perception. But that changes absolutely everything. Because when you have access to a level of information about how the world works that others don’t, you have an edge. And I don’t mean that in a competitive way (Beside, it is not the point.) But I certainly am given a choice:
- To use or not the information that is available to me.
- To apply or not my new understanding of ’the rules’, even make adjustments if necessary so I can attain more prosperity, love, success and health
- Add another dimension of interaction in the ‘physical world’. Now I can interact through pure energy or through physical interaction.
My world has become bigger. And past the initial fear of the unknown I am now having lots of fun with it and getting the perks of it. In the end, it is no different than moving abroad and learning another language, customs and codes. Most humans have done that in their lives so it is only a stretch. Also, it is not something that we need to seek - it is our maternal language. It is where we come from. We are consciousness & energy before being meat and bones. It is therefore normal to have an apprehension and maybe some underlying shame why we can’t speak our maternal language (how could we deny our origins and not try to cultivate them). It does not have to be so. You might be Vietnamese by lineage, but born French and so your French is far better than your Vietnamese. And you know more about French culture than your own. But truly, truly, even if I lack the vocabulary, I always understand the general meaning and even detect tone and subtle meaning variations.
And so it is for you with the language of energy: emotions, intuition, thoughts that precede and create realities is deeply ingrained in your subconscious. You might only need a few refresher courses to accelerate your remembrance, but it will come back fast. And you will soon discover that you already use your abilities everydy, unknowingly.
And that means perceiving beings or consciousness that seem ‘invisible’ to the human eyes.
Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re the terms on which you’re fully, genuinely present.
Why We Say Yes When We Mean No
The reasons vary, but they usually involve one of the following:
- Fear of conflict — we’ve learned that disappointing people is dangerous
- People-pleasing — our worth became tied to others’ approval early on
- Guilt — we feel selfish for prioritising our own needs
- Uncertainty — we’re not clear enough on our own needs to articulate them
None of these make you a bad person. They make you human. But they’re worth examining, because they’re expensive.
The Real Cost of Chronic Yes
Every time you say yes to something that should be a no, you say no to something else. Your time, energy, and attention are finite. Scattered widely and thinly, they can’t do much for anyone.
People who consistently overcommit tend to end up resentful, exhausted, and — ironically — less helpful to the people they care about most. The person who burns out helping everyone is available to no one.
How to Say No Without Apologising Excessively
The language matters. “I’m so sorry, I really wish I could, maybe another time, it’s just that…” is a filler that softens a no into something that sounds negotiable and guilty. Try these instead:
- Simple and warm: “I can’t commit to that right now, but thank you for asking.”
- Honest and boundaried: “That’s not something I’m able to take on this season.”
- Redirecting: “I’m not the right person for this — have you tried [name]?”
You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation for declining. A brief, kind no is more respectful than an elaborate apology.
Boundaries in Close Relationships
This is where it gets harder. Saying no to a boss or acquaintance feels manageable. Saying no to a parent, partner, or best friend stirs something deeper.
The most useful frame here: a boundary is an expression of what you need, not a punishment of the other person. Deliver it calmly, clearly, and with care. Expect that it might be met with pushback — especially if people are used to you saying yes. Hold the boundary anyway, kindly.
Over time, the people who genuinely respect you will adjust. And the ones who only respect you while you’re accommodating them are telling you something important.
The Gift of a Well-Placed No
Here’s what nobody tells you: the people in your life benefit from your boundaries too. When you say no clearly, they know where they stand. They don’t have to guess or manage a resentful version of you. A clear no creates the conditions for a genuine yes.
The most generous thing you can offer anyone is your authentic, energised, present self. You can only be that if you protect the conditions that make it possible.
If boundaries are something you’re working through, this is often one of the most transformative areas of coaching. Let’s talk.